The Unsolved Mysteries Iceberg Part 1

Hello my loyal blog readers! I’ve got something different for you today.

As I’ve alluded to multiple times, although the Urge To Blog burns ever bright in my heart, I have been having a lot of trouble ingesting the delicious media–books, games, movies–that fuel that flame due to my migraines. What I’ve been searching for is a source of Infinite Content, something that I can bang away about without having to do much—or any—research. Just sit down when I’m feeling up to it, hammer out some content, then take a nap.

Recently, I‘ve been watching iceberg explainer videos on Youtube, and I came across this extensive unsolved mysteries iceberg chart which includes a lot of topics I‘m already familiar with. In case you‘re not familiar with the concept, an iceberg chart lists topics revolving around a specific theme in order of obscurity, with the top layers (the parts of the iceberg that are above the surface) being more mainstream or generally well known, while the deeper layers list obscure theories or trivia. Some icebergs also order their subjects by how disturbing they are, with the Not Safe For Life topics going at the bottom.

For this blog post series, I‘m going to discuss some of the topics on the Unsolved Mysteries Iceberg and give my take on them. I‘m not going to tackle all of them, because there‘s some I don‘t have any familiarity with and the whole point of this exercise is that I won‘t have to do any research, but I‘ll hit as many as I can.

Given that this involves unsolved murders and serial killers, it gets into some heavy territory. As such, entries that are likely to be disturbing or upsetting will be titled in red. There are none of these in the first post.

Let me know in the comments if you find this stuff interesting

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Trash TV: The Watcher

The case of The Watcher is a fascinating unsolved mystery. The link I provided gives the full details, but the gist of it is that an American family purchased their “dream house” and then started receiving creepy and vaguely threatening letters from an unknown stalker. The family were ultimately scared into selling their home at a loss, and the identity of The Watcher was never uncovered.

It’s the kind of story that seems tailor-made for adaptation into a movie or TV series. Indeed, among those who believe that the Broaddus parents made the whole thing up, that’s one of the most popular proposed motives. So how could producer Ryan “American Horror Story” Murphy and a boatload of Netflix cash take such fertile material and turn it into…this?

Netflix’s The Watcher is either one of the most ineptly-made pieces of media I’ve ever seen, or a stealth parody whose cover is so deep that it’s looped back around to being unironically terrible. I honestly don’t think it matters which is true, because the show is a hilarious trainwreck either way.

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Smile

If you’ve been paying any attention to the horror movie scene lately then you’ll know that “elevated horror” is one of two genre sub-types blowing up right now (the other one is folk horror). The exact definition is a little blurry, as these things tend to be, but the general definition of what separates an elevated horror movie from normal horror movie is the following:

  • Novel hook

  • Focus on social issues, especially as metaphor

  • A24 logo on the poster

  • Vibes

That last one is important: more than anything else, you know an elevated horror movie when you see it…or rather, you can tell when someone is trying to make an elevated horror movie, even when they completely and utterly fail to do so.

For example,

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Metroid Prime Remastered

Well, we all knew this was coming. My decision to cover this game will, of course, be controversial to some of my readers, but for reasons I will refuse to elaborate on, anyone criticising me for my media consumption is violating my freedom of speech and also bullying me. I must live my truth.

I scarcely need to name the game in question. After years of rumours and feverish speculation  this game, part of a storied media franchise and a universal keystone of millennial nostalgia everywhere, is finally here. It’s by far the biggest, most highly-anticipated game of February and quite possibly the year.

That’s right: I’m talking about Metroid Prime Remastered on the Nintendo Switch. 

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Books I Didn't Finish: A Court Of Thorns And Roses

In the post-Hunger Games world, no book series has managed to dominate the YA space and become the Next Big Thing, as many commentators and (perhaps more importantly) people with a vested financial interest in the YA market predicted something would. Instead we have multiple claiments to the throne, much like a dark fantasy setting might feature a host of squabbling monarchs.

One of those claiments is Sarah J Maas, who wrote extensively for a YA audience before more recently switching to adult novels (probably a smart financial decision). I’m completely unfamiliar with her work, so I decided to experience the Maas Effect for myself by jumping into A Court Of Thorns And Roses, the first book in her most popular series.

I didn’t get too far.

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Trash TV: The Walking Dead Seasons 1-3

Note: Going to take January off blogging, enjoy 2023 y’all

So I’m not sure if you’ve heard, but The Walking Dead recently ended after airing for forty years continuously. I have a strange and mysterious inclination to get involved in pop cultural media right before they end, so I decided now would be the perfect time to travel all the way back to 1962 and check out the first three seasons of AMC’s putrid golden goose.

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Dying Light

I recently had a sudden urge to play some games about zombies—as you do—so I decided to go back and finish Dying Light, the zombie parkour game that came out in 2015 and got a large amount of free and paid content updates over the next five years. You can now buy all of the significant content (minus cosmetics and overpowered DLC weapons) for cheap, which is a pretty good deal if you want a lot of zombie-killing action.

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Station Eleven

Hey everyone, here’s a very quick, spoiler-free post on why I found Emily St. John Mandel’s Station Eleven disappointing. I actually read the whole thing before I decided to review it this time!

For 90% of my time with the book, I actually thought I was going to come away from it feeling quite positive. Then I got to what I guess passes for the climax of the book, and that changed quickly.

The story takes place before and after an apocalyptic flu pandemic (the opening chapters are great if you want to flash back to early 2020 and feel really anxious), with initially-disconnected characters and plot threads that are gradually intertwined, in your typical literary fiction “people’s lives connect across space and time in unexpected and beguiling ways” (85% of all literary fiction is about this). As far as those kinds of stories go it’s pretty well done, especially in the second half when the different threads start coming together.

However, having gone to all the work of setting this up, the pay-off is extremely underwhelming. The climactic action of the story comes really abruptly and is dealt with in the space of a few pages, via means that don’t really have anything to do with the protagonist or any of the plot elements established up to that point–even though (and this is the part that kills me) the scene in question does actually bring in all of those elements, in a way that seems like it’s going to really tightly wrap up all the book’s thematic strands. They’re just not relevant at all to what actually happens.

The impression I get is that Mandel was fed up with the story and wanted to wrap it up even though the story seemed like it had enough fuel to keep going for a lot longer. At the point it goes into the climax, it felt like there was another third of the book still left to go.

Station Eleven got a TV series adaptation recently which, going by the episode descriptions, seems to flesh out the ending much more as well as tying one particular character more tightly into the rest of the plot, so apparently I’m not the only person who noticed these problems.

Books I Didn't Finish: Babel

After completely failing to connect with The Atlas Six, I was still in the mood for a vaguely “Dark Academia” flavoured alternate history fantasy. Luckily that describes roughly forty percent of the current genre market right now, so I wasn’t short on options. RF Kuang’s Babel got a huge amount of Buzz prior to release and had an interesting premise, so I chose that. Is it better than The Atlas Six?

Yes. Technically.

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Books I Didn't Finish: The Atlas Six

So I was recently strolling through my local bookshop, looking at things to buy on my Kindle for substantially cheaper prices, when I spotted one of those “BookTok made me buy it” shelves, and I got curious—what are the TikToks making the kids buy these days?

Of the options available, Olivie Blake’s The Atlas Six seemed the most up my alley. I had vaguely heard that it’s Buzzworthy and Bingeworthy and various other kinds of worthies, so surely it has to be a compelling and well-written tale, right?

Right?

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The Silent Hill Transmission

Silent Hill is back, baby! It’s good again!

Maybe.

I have written before about my obsessive love for the Silent Hill franchise of video games, most notably in a big multi-part series of essays I did years ago on my old blog (look out for those getting ported over here at some point). As such, I have been keenly following the rumours of a series revival that have been swirling around for quite some time. A few days ago Konami finally lifted the lid on that revival, and boy howdy, us Silent Hill fans are going to be feasting in the years ahead.

First, a quick primer for people who have no idea what I’m talking about.

The Silent Hill series launched on the Playstation back in 1998, rose to prominence with a handful of sequels on the Playstation 2, entered a decline period in which the original development team broke up and new games were farmed out to third parties on an apparently semi-random basis with decidedly mixed results, then appeared to die for good when Konami acrimoniously parted ways with Hideo Kojima, who was developing a new entry with Guillermo Del Toro, amidst a major pivot away from video game development.

In the years since, Konami’s pachinko and fitness club enterprises have waned due to factors largely outside their control (primarily changes to Japanese gambling laws and the Covid pandemic), and management shakeups have ousted the anti-games faction and brought in executives who want to re-pivot back to videogames as a core business, with a particular focus on exploiting Konami’s classic IP stable. Silent Hill isn’t quite the top tier of that stable—that would be Metal Gear—but as a franchise not connected to a particular auteur creator who’s unlikely to ever work with them again (reportedly Kojima and Konami have smoothed things over, but Kojima has since launched his own studio and is unlikely to come back), it makes an obvious choice for a big return, especially with high-budget horror getting a huge boost via Capcom’s wildly successful Resident Evil efforts of late.

So we knew for a while that Silent Hill was coming back. We just didn’t know how much it was coming back. It turns out the answer to that question is: all the way. It’s coming back all the way.
Specifically, during their “transmission” video Konami announced five major Silent Hill projects, consisting of three video games, a movie and one…thing (I’ll get into that more later). In order of announcement, here’s what we have to look forward to in 2023 and beyond.

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The Deep House

[Note: I have Covid for the first time and will likely be out of action for a while as I recuperate]

Haunted House stories have been around so long that they’ve evolved into an easily-recognised standard narrative structure. You start out with unseen voices and half-glimpsed shadows, move on to electrical interference and creaking doors, and then right around the time our protagonists are seeing actual apparitions, they stumble on the secret room or whatever that reveals the house’s backstory.

This is such a common story structure that it’s long since ceased to even be a cliche. If you make a horror movie following these beats, not even the most fresh-faced viewer is likely to find the result frightening or engaging.

But what if the house was Underwater? Would that inject some life into the hoary old formula?

No, it turns out, but The Deep House gives it a good try anyway.

Our protagonists are Ben and Tina, a go-getting young couple looking to get famous on Youtube by exploring haunted locations. Traveling through France, they learn about a well-preserved house at the bottom of a reservoir from a creepy guy who is obviously evil, and decide to dive down and have a look. It does not go well.

This is an arresting idea for a horror movie, and at first it appears to be making good on its promise: the underwater scenes are moody and atmospheric, the fact that the interior of the house is eerily well-preserved is something the audience is allowed to figure out before the characters do, and in general I was fully on board with wherever the movie was going during its opening act.

Alas, things quickly start to go awry. To begin with, the movie doesn’t just adhere rigidly to the classic tropes of the haunted house story, but to the much more specific cliches that were birthed by modern found footage movies (The Deep House switches back and forth between first-person found footage and traditional camerawork). You’ve got the girlfriend who recognizes the danger for what it is and wants to walk away, who is coupled with a stubborn boyfriend who refuses to put the camera down and stop poking the hornet’s nest. You’ve got the creepy local who leads the duo to the haunted location and who is clearly up to no good. You’ve got a backstory involving occult rituals and human sacrifice in service to some vaguely-defined demonic/witchy entity.

It turns out that putting all of this underwater doesn’t actually make it feel any fresher; in fact, it introduces brand new problems.

When things are calm and our two leads are leisurely exploring the house, the movie does a good job of balancing the murky darkness of the lake bottom with letting the audience see what’s actually happening; no it’s, not particularly realistic that there’s tons of light pouring in from the outside, but making the house realistically dark would have been annoying.

This goes out the window as soon as the really spooky shit pops off. Suddenly, the camera lens (the movie usually switches to found footage for these scenes) is obscured by swirling bubbles, flashlight beams and silt, such that at times it can be difficult to figure out what’s even supposed to be happening.

This isn’t helped by the fact that some of the scares are a little hard to parse just on their own terms. There’s one bit where Tina either gets attacked by hanging chains or is pulled into some sort of whirlpool—I honestly couldn’t tell which—and there’s a recurring thing where the underwater drone the couple are using gets possessed or something and starts emitting a sinister red light. I’m still not really sure what’s going on with that.

Like a lot of found footage movies, The Deep House doesn’t really know what to do with itself once the low-key build-up phase ends, and so we get lots of interminable scenes of Tina and Ben yelling each other’s names over and over again, a big clumsy exposition scene where the backstory of the house is explained in way more detail than is necessary, and then some confusing and disorienting action.

Even the underwater gimmick, ostensibly the movie’s main selling point, gets essentially discarded for a big chunk of the middle of the movie—a lot of the scenes in the second half could have taken place quite easily in an ordinary house instead of a Deep House, and the fact that Ben and Tina are running on a strict oxygen time limit is forgotten about for just long enough that the concept loses all tension.

Overall then, this is a case of a really interesting idea that the film makers didn’t seem to know how to actually turn into a compelling movie. Kind of a shame.

Durgan vs Elfe: The Rings Of Power

Hot on the heels of Sad Dragon Family And Friends, here’s my review of the first episode of The Lord of The Power: The Rings of Ring.

In contrast to Game of Thrones, my level of fandom for Tolkien is pretty much non-existent: I saw the three LOTR movies once when they came out, liked them but didn’t love them, and have never read a single word of the man’s writing. I have zero familiarity with the material this series is drawing on, nor do I care at all about how faithful it is to said material.

So as a non-fan just looking for a high budget shiny fantasy series to watch, how was the opening episode?

The Rings Of Power takes place in Middle-Earth’s second age, a time that came before the third age but after the first age. I assume that means something else to Tolkienheads, but for normal people all you need to know is that this is long before the events of The Hobbit and The Lord Of the Rings. It’s prequel time, baby! Those always turn out well and are universally embraced by fans.

Anyway, the elves have finished up a long war against Morgoth, the first Dark Lord who attacked their homeland centuries ago, and everyone is convinced that the threat is gone and an era of peace is at hand. Everyone, that is, except for returning protagonist Galadriel, who is convinced that Morgoth’s lieutenant Sauron is still out there and getting ready to finish what Morgoth started. She is, of course, correct about this, and when the threat becomes apparent to the wider world the different races of Middle Earth have to start putting their differences aside to face it. Presumably this eventually involves forging the titular rings of power that cause so much trouble in the Third Age.

As I’ve said before when it comes to fantasy on the teevee, the opening episode needs to do a lot of work very quickly in terms of introducing the setting and characters. Arguably Rings Of Power is in a worse position in this regard than House Of The Dragon, as the latter is sufficiently similar to its original installment that the show only needs to get viewers caught up on the small number of changes, whereas Rings Of Power is like a thousand years before the books and movies and pretty much everything is different apart from the major races of Middle Earth. How does the show balance conveying all of this information while getting the actual plot moving?

Well, it…doesn’t.

Despite looking absurdly gorgeous, the first episode really left me cold due to its heavy-handed, expository writing. Characters come on screen and bluntly explain who they are and what their deal is, or engage in clumsy as-you-know conversations with other people. All the poetic faux-Tolkien dialogue in the world can’t disguise how hacky this is. I constantly felt that the storylines spinning up seemed like they should theoretically be very engaging, but the clunky writing kept me on the outside.

The episode’s editing is also rough, with a lot of scenes ending slightly too quickly so that the pacing feels off. Elsewhere, the episode continues with one character’s story when it seems like it should, for the sake of pacing, be cutting to someone else, and vice versa.

This was all off-putting enough that I didn’t end up watching the second episode, despite intending to. I’m going to go back and give it another shot at some point—the end of this first episode, when the actual plot kicked in, was already getting more interesting—but for the moment, House Of The Dragon wins this round.






Durgan vs Elfe: The House Of The Dragon

My migraines are kicking up again and as such I haven’t been reading a whole lot, but by a happy coincidence two major fantasy TV shows–Game Of Thrones prequel House Of The Dragon and Lord Of The Rings prequel(?) The Rings Of Power–are starting almost back to back. In lieu of having anything else to talk about, here’s my review of the first two episodes of the former; a Rings Of Power post will follow after its streaming premiere on the 2nd of September.

I guess I am, technically, a Game Of Thrones fan, in the sense that I watched every episode of it and enjoyed it more than I didn’t. However, my feelings on the series are a lot more muted than the real hardcore fans—I didn’t like the earlier seasons as much as other people, I didn’t hate the last two as much as other people (or, really, at all; I was actually fine with all of the things that happened at the end, it was just the rushed pacing that tripped it up).

So while I’m interested enough to watch the episodes as they come out, I’m not exactly going into this vibrating with excitement. I didn’t watch any of the trailers and didn’t know what it was going to be about beyond the absolute basics, which is also how I experienced Game Of Thrones. How do these first two episodes compare?

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Books I Didn't Finish: Seveneves

I’ve never read any of Neal Stephenson’s books before Seveneves, but I’ve been aware of the guy for a long time, always as a titan of sci-fi who writes very intelligent smart-guy books for smart-guy people. Snow Crash, the Baroque Cycle, Anathem—these and more have a reputation as being big, dense bricks full of science and cryptography and philosophy. Something like a sci-fi Umberto Eco, in other words.

So I was surprised when I cracked open Seveneves, read a few pages and then asked myself “Is the whole thing written like this? Are all of Neal Stephenson’s books written like this?”

I can’t say for certain because I didn’t finish the book, but what I did read was enough to tell me that Neal Staphenson is not the sci-fi version of Umberto Eco. He’s somewhere between Andy Weir and Joss Whedon, a location otherwise known as the Hack Zone. Let’s dip our toes in, shall we?

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Ghost Videos: A Scientific Analysis

Lately, I haven’t been watching, reading or playing a whole lot of blog-friendly media while I grapple with coming off medication for my chronic migraines. You might have noticed, due to the lack of blog. But in the Age Of Content anything can be spun into a blog post, so here I present some absolutely substance-free commentary on the substance-free Youtube videos I’ve been binge-watching while my lidocaine-addled brain calms down.

It’s time to talk about ghosts.

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Dune vs Dune

Frank Herbert’s Dune is famous primarily for being the permanent favourite book of the r/books sub-reddit, but it’s also gained a minor reputation as a seminal sci-fi classic.

A few years ago I read it for the first time and didn’t really like it all that much, so when the new movie was announced I didn’t pay much attention. Until, that is, I found out it was being helmed by my boy Denis Villeneuve, director of Enemy, Sicario, Arrival and Blade Runner 2049. Those last two happen to be among my favourite movies of the last ten years, so I was willing to sit through a story I didn’t much care for if it came with some of that patented Villeneuve visual flair.

In this post I’m going to briefly go over why I didn’t like the book, then review the movie to compare and contrast.

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The Purge Season 1

The Purge is an IP that seems to be in a perpetual state of wasted potential. The first movie infamously squandered its fascinating premise on a rote home invasion plot, but even the sequels always felt like they were failing to really make good on the promise of the franchise’s central idea.

Enter the Amazon Prime series of the same name. With nine to ten episodes a season, can this extended Purge finally succeed where the movies didn’t?

The premise, for those not familiar: it’s some vague number of years after an authoritarian group called the New Founding Fathers have taken control of America, and one of their big innovations is the Purge, an annual “holiday” where for one night all crime is legal. This is supposedly aimed at reducing crime by letting people get all of their crime urges out in a semi-controlled manner, but its actual purpose is to reduce the population of homeless, poor, minorities and other people the NFFA considers a drain on society.

So just like in the movies, it’s Purge night and a diverse cast of characters find themselves, for one reason or another, out on the streets and in danger. This time around we’ve got a teenage girl looking to sacrifice herself at the behest of the Purge cult she’s joined, her estranged Marine brother who would rather that didn’t happen, a finance executive who hires an assassin to kill someone and then gets cold feet, and an upwardly mobile young couple who attend an NFFA party in hopes of securing funding for their business ventures.

Right away we’ve got a more interesting selection of protagonists here than “person whose car breaks down ten miniutes before the Purge siren goes off.” A big reason for this is that the expanded scope of a series lets the show take its time getting the characters out of the safety of their secure enclaves rather than rushing to the action as soon as possible. In fact, one of the multiple plotlines takes place almost entirely behind fortified doors, the show making the point that holing up somewhere isn’t necessarily any safer than being out on the streets if you can’t trust the people you’re holed up with.

Having four different viewpoint characters whose storylines don’t intersect until the end of the season (in quite an elegant twist, I might add) lets the show take a more expansive look at what kinds of trouble a hapless citizen can get into on Purge night beyond just being chased by machete-wielding killers in masks. One of the constant criticisms of the movie franchise is that it focused on murder to the exclusion of all other kinds of crimes, and the series remedies this to an extent. 

Yes, we still mostly have people in zany costumes killing each other for funsies, but there’s other illegal activity highlighted like human trafficking, contract killing and—in probably the darkest and most disturbing scene the franchise has ever featured—sexual harassment. The show uses an admirable level of restraint when it comes to that last topic rather than going as over the top as it does with the violence, which if anything just makes the sequence more horrific than it might have been otherwise.

In a show with four main characters who mostly operate on completely separate story arcs, some are inevitably less interesting than others. My personal choice for the most disappointing protagonist is Jane Barber, the finance exec who sets out to stop the assassination she put into motion. For most of the series she was actually my favourite character, but in the last episode she delivers a speech about how the Purge is bad actually–a conclusion she had already reached by episode three–tries and fails to stop the bad guy, and then gets unceremoniously killed. I kind of get the feeling the writers ran out of things to do with her before the end.

In the past I’ve advanced the idea that the Purge movies are aimed primarily at angry American liberals. Given that this is a franchise featuring—in an entry released in 2016–supporters of a far-right US regime rioting after their candidate loses an election, maybe that’s fair enough. I still wish they were a bit more subtle about it. Like, I know rich dipshits in real life don’t pay taxes, but having the rich dipshit just blithely announce that he doesn’t pay taxes is a bit on the nose.

Despite these issues, this first season is for my money easily the best Purge-related piece of media that’s been released. Unfortunately the franchise seems to have reached its apotheosis just as its appeal started to wane, as the series was canceled after the second season. So, let’s see if the inevitable reboot in ten or so years can keep the momentum going.

Severance Season 1

In November of 2019, The iPhone Company launched Steve Jobs Presents Apple TV Plus, The Apple TV Channel, a new addition to the fifty media streaming companies attempting to recreate the broadcast television landscape of the late 90s except worse because now you pay for every channel individually. The service didn’t get off to a stellar start, with its first wave of original shows getting a decidedly lukewarm reaction.

But lately that’s been changing; the streamer (apparently that’s what we’re calling them now) recently became the first streaming service to win an Oscar with Coda, and its more recent original productions have been better received by critics. Chief among those is Severance, a show that with the recent conclusion of its first season seems to have become this generation’s Twin Peaks in terms of pop culture engagement and status. Does it deserve the hype? Get your waffles and corporate-branded finger traps ready as we find out.

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